A Sternutation written 12 years ago


I hate sneezing. It’s probably the most violent thing my body can do, and I don’t like it going on in my head.

A sternutation or, more commonly known, sneeze is a semi-autonomous, convulsive expulsion of air from the nose and mouth. This air can reach speeds of 100-200 mph and an unimpeded sneeze sends two to five thousand bacteria-filled droplets into the air.

Nothing about my body should be able to project something at 200mph. It’s just not right. I must have sneezed ten times in a row the other day, I was very unimpressed with my body.

Some people tell me they enjoy sneezing. “An orgasm in the head”. To these people I call crazy.

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I still say they’re better than chocolate milkshake!

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